The Elijah Foundation

Introduction to the Blog:

Bi polar disorder, Asthma, Test Anxiety, International Adoption, Sickle Cell Anemia... there are numerous conditions that affect our children daily. Every child is unique, every child is different, and every child is special. What makes your child special? Special circumstances should be observed in each and every child. How do you reach your child? Is there a book, video, game or source that is tangible? What are you looking for? Is it easy to find?

I am THAT parent who searched for years for anything to help my child. My son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 9 and the only books that were offered to me were adult books. There was no child-friendly book to help my Eli understand what going on...what the doctors were telling him... frustration is an understatement. I wanted books or games or videos to bring our family together. I had to create that resource to manage my family and my son's school. Support is important to the family, friends, school personnel and everyone who interacts with your children.

The Elijah Foundation wants to be your resource. Let us know what would help you with your child, your classroom your niece, nephew or friend. Let us help you celebrate the individuality of every child!

Hi everyone,

I found a great website for summer camps. It is broken down by state and has options for religious, therapeutic, high adventure etc... some even have scholarships available.
http://www.camppage.com/virginia.htm

I hope this helps you all!

I watch children coming and going from my son’s elementary/middle school every day, and I can almost see their personalities by watching their mannerisms. How do our children develop personality? It stems from their home life and family interactions, but school and extra-curricular activities play a large part in creating the “whole” child. Do you think it is important to include your children in extra curricular activities such as clubs, sports and scouts? Do you think that it helps children emotionally to have these additional responsibilities and outlets?

My experience leads me to believe that additional responsibilities help to mold children. It keeps them focused and points them in a direction that does not generally find trouble. It gives them experiences that help them to grow and mature. It gives them avenues to make new friends and develop new skills. My mother always told me that “a busy child has no time to look for trouble”. I find that to be true. As a parent of four children, I am exhausted from running them here and there. It is a lot to ask to attend meetings and practices and games, pay dues and buy uniforms, pictures and trophies, and watch our children face others that could hurt them or embarrass them. So, why do we do it? What else do these additional organizations do for our children?

One reason was to build a resume of sorts for our children to get into colleges and universities. It is amazing to see what is asked on an application and how competitive it is to get accepted into the institution of your choice. The more our children do, the better their chances at getting accepted. I would hate to think that we are enrolling our children in everything under the sun just to get them into a good college though. Another reason to involve our children is to help them emotionally and socially. I think children need more from the community than parents and teachers alone can provide.

My son thrives on his outside activities! Without these outlets he would drive himself (and me) crazy. He desperately seeks time with friends outside of school and finds camaraderie in his sporting teams. Emotionally and physically, he reaches out and exerts himself as a release of his tensions and frustrations.

I was reading a few articles on www.education.com and found that some of the things children learn from team sports go beyond scoring, batting, shooting and winning. This also goes for clubs and organizations in addition to sports. We can’t all be athletic, now can we?

· Ego checks – Children are egocentric. They are encouraged to work with a group for the betterment of the team and not just themselves. They learn to be happy for other player’s or peer successes.

· Positive Mentors - A dedicated, thoughtful, and skilled coach or group leader can have amazing impact on children. Sometimes your child will respond better to an objective coach than they will to their own parent. When children have early, positive experiences with coaches, they continue to seek out and learn from mentors who can help them with school, jobs, and other interests.

· Another reason for family time – Playing ball with your children can mean a great deal to your children in our busy world. Practicing the sport is not the only benefit however; spending time with your child/ren is a much greater advantage. We often find that it is these moments that we are able to communicate and teach a value.

We are right in the middle of cold and flu season. My son was home from school for one day due to a fever and headache. He also exhibited symptoms of a cold. The school nurse told me to be sure to keep him home until the fever was gone because there had been many sick children in school when they were still contagious. I am not one to keep my child home and. For that matter, he does not being home from school. I later found out that a child in my son’s class had similar cold/flu symptoms and had just been admitted to the hospital for pneumonia. He was in ICU and on a respirator.

This school absence made me think about the overall population and what kinds of things keep children out of school. I already knew that absenteeism was higher when a child first starts school or day care. The immune system of a child has to be developed and that tends to happen as soon as a child is exposed to a large group on a daily basis. What I uncovered was that Kindergarten had the highest absenteeism and it decreased with each year a child was in school. The average number of days missed ranged from 5-18 days per year for a typical kindergarten child (www.nccp.org). I also found that attendance improved with the income bracket of the family. Poorer children were found to be absent more often than economically advantaged children. Also, it is found that race also has an impact on absenteeism. The American Indian tends to be absent more than any other race.

So, other than age, income and race, what kinds of illnesses are keeping our children out of school? According to www.cureresearch.com, children are absent from school based on three categories.

Obviously, the physical disorders are the main cause of absence. What can we do to assist children who are absent or improve their attendance?

6. Make sure that the school guidance departments are aware of any extenuating circumstances that a child or family is experiencing so that they can receive additional support.

It is important that schools and families have open communication. The overall education of our children is in our hands. We cannot expect to receive help when our children are out of school unless the school understands all of the issues being faced.

As a single parent, she has had to find the future adoptive family for her children. The girls have been spending time with their new family to make the transition just a little easier. In just a few months this will be their permanent home.

What can you say to someone who is planning their funeral and preparing her children for a different life? Frequently, I think about her girls and the reality that is facing them. Reading materials for the children are very important while they work with grief counselors available at school and other therapeutic environments. Although I have not spent much time with the girls recently, I know that their incredible mother will be easing them through this difficult period with all the support she can find.

In the future, The Elijah Foundation will be providing books to address this situation. We intend to reach out with sympathy and care when dealing with this sensitive issue.

The weirdest thing happened when I was taking care of my sister’s two dogs recently. I fed one dog some biscuits that were - unbeknownst to me - meant for her other one. At first, the dog gave no indication of his later reaction! In a few days clumps of his hair fell on the floor. Continually, he was scratching an itch and soon broke out in a rash. Soon his obvious digestive problem began: excessive gas, diarrhea and some vomiting. My sister returned she asked what I had fed her dogs during the day. When I told her, she was really concerned and told me, in no uncertain terms, that I had been killing her dog!

Before she left, she forgot to tell me that her dog had Celiac Disease (CD). I had already heard about CD from some friends and knew that it was an allergy to wheat products. What I didn’t know was that her dog had this problem or that both dogs and humans could be afflicted with this condition. So, as always, I did more research to get a better understanding of this disease.

CD is a digestive disorder that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People with CD cannot tolerate gluten, protein wheat, rye, and barley. Gluten is found mainly in foods but also in everyday products such as medicines, vitamins, and lip balms.

Symptoms of CD vary from person to person. Symptoms may occur in the digestive system or in other parts of the body. Digestive symptoms are more common in infants and young children and may include:

Then I wondered what how my sister had adapted her dog’s diet. He is fed with a special dog food that is three times more expensive than the regular kind. I was shocked! Did families have to buy more expensive food products? What do you order at a restaurant? How do you teach children what they are allowed to eat when they are not with you? What about schools and school lunches?

Knowing what I know now, it is obvious that early education is vital for children coping with CD. However, education is needed not only for the child, but for everyone who comes in contact with the child – other children and adults. This is a great example of why children’s books on disease are so necessary!

Global Anxiety Disorder is a form of General Anxiety Disorder. It encompasses the same symptoms such as excessive, uncontrollable and often irrational worry about everyday things that is disproportionate to the actual source of worry. This excessive worry often interferes with daily functioning. Individuals suffering with GAD typically are overly concerned with catastrophes, they anticipate disasters, and are overly concerned about everyday matters. They often exhibit a variety of physical symptoms, including fatigue, fidgeting, headaches, nausea, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, twitching, irritability, sweating, insomnia, and hot flashes.

A close friend of mine told me of her concern for her daughter who struggled with anxiety when it came to issues dealing with war and international crisis. Her daughter had anxiety attacks when the news came on and when she read the newspapers. The international problems had been so significant to her personally that she shut down when she was exposed to “global” issues.

I had never thought about the anxiety that children must feel when they hear about war and crisis. This information caused me to reflect and think about how many children probably struggle with this same problem. It is clearly impossible to shield our children from the negative news that surrounds us daily. It is a fact of life that the United States in involved with many ugly situations and that these situations are being exposed to us constantly in the media. Can we put our children in a bubble and protect them from this? I don’t think so.

What we can do is sit with our children when the news is on. We can look at the paper with our children. We can explain that our government is protecting us with our military forces. We can educate them on the state of our country. We can explain that our efforts to protect others sometimes result in casualties. We can talk about our international efforts and the positive changes we are seeking. It is also helpful to seek the counsel from a therapist in your child’s school.

Next week I will be talking about Celiac Disease and the complications that can arise due to the dietary needs and eating out. Please check back with us.

· Attending at least 6 conferences or special events to promote EF and our upcoming books

I have already started meeting these objectives and will submit our first grant of 2009 next week. I will be attending an adoption seminar in February and sharing our adoption prototype. The bipolar book will be printed in the next 2 months. (Details will follow as they are released) And, links to the Elijah Foundation have been added to friends’ websites and added to Facebook.com.

Next week I will return to our regular format by discussing a new disorder. Check back to find out something new!

A number of years ago, I had friends visit me from New York. Their youngest son was with them and we were talking about his soccer, basketball and baseball teams. Apparently he was struggling with sports due to extreme pain in his joints, particularly his knees. He was taken to the doctor and was diagnosed with Osgood-Schlatter’s disease. I had never heard of this so I asked a lot of questions and did my own research. My friend suggested that I write a story for her son since this disease is so common among children between 11-14 years old.

What is Osgood-Schlatter’s Disease anyway? It is pronounced “oz-good scholt-ter”. It is one of the most common causes of knee pain in young athletes. It causes swelling, pain and tenderness just below the knee, and over the shin bone. It occurs in children who are having a growth spurt during their pre-teen or teenage years. It is believed that it is caused from the pull of the large muscles in the front of the thigh. When the muscles contract, the tendons pull away from the shin bone causing pain.

This problem becomes more noticeable during activities that require running or jumping. It is most common in athletes who play football, soccer or basketball or are involved in gymnastics and ballet. This finally made sense now. Even though I had never heard of this disease, I could see how teenage athletes could be challenged when they had to endure the pain affiliated with their favorite sports. It put a whole new twist to the phrase, “It hurts to grow up”.

Osgood-Schlatter’s Disease usually goes away with time. When the child stops growing, the pain and swelling should go away because the tendons become stronger. It is rare that the disease persists beyond the teenage years.

I thought it would be interesting to develop a story for my friend and for others who struggled with the pain of growing. Our character will be a grasshopper. I look forward to the creation of the book. Is there a particular issue that your child struggles and copes with? Please write to me and share your story. Our books are all written from experiences of real children. We are always looking for touching experiences that will help others.

Please check back next year when I will continue my blogs. I hope that the information I share is helpful to you and provides insight on the challenges of our children. I would love to hear from more of my readers. Have a wonderful holiday with your loved ones!

The awareness in our culture of children needing some form of counseling or therapy or a combination of both is evident. Regardless of what a child has had to cope with, there is always a service that is willing to help. Therapy is not only used for crisis situations but for every disorder, disability, challenge, family problem, life circumstance, or issue that is imaginable. Types of therapy are as varied as the reason for therapy. They include Massage, Art, Pet, Horse (equine assisted), play, group, behavior, family, in-patient, and, out-patient etc.

As a child I thought that a therapist was a “shrink” and that they tried to get into your head. It was not something that people admitted to if they went to see someone. I went to family therapy when I was young and it wasn’t so bad. I also went to therapy with my son many years ago. It wasn’t very stigmatizing either time. Now there are therapists in every school and you can request help for your child for any reason.

As a result of this therapy explosion, are we a healthier culture now than we used to be? Is this therapy really helping us or our children? I, for one, am thrilled that my child can talk freely and openly to someone outside of the family if he needs to. I am glad that there is confidentiality. I think that children have the ability to be more confident and independent when they can seek help and counsel as needed.

What kinds of experiences have you had with counselors or therapists? I would love to have your input. Next week I will attempt to uncover the facts surrounding Osgood-Schlatter’s Disease.

As the holidays approach, I am reminded of the challenges children face when they have to fulfill the wishes of more than one household. The new movie Four Christmases is an example of the problems that can arise. In this movie, the couple is required to visit four homes over a busy holiday because of parents that have divorced and remarried. As we watch adults coping with the trials this presents to them, I think of how much more difficult it is for children.

My children, along with numerous others, have to make choices or be forced into situations that they know may hurt one or more parent. As a parent, it is never easy to share my children with others but it is especially difficult to put them on a plane at the most social times of the year. I used to get angry and unfortunately made them feel guilty about some of their choices. Now I have accepted that it is their holiday too; usually, they too make sacrifices when trying to do the kind thing for everyone. My response can make or break the spirit of the occasion.

What can I do to help my children to have a happy Christmas? I have found that removing any barriers to their communication with their father has been helpful. I also take a neutral position when they ask what they should do. I do support whatever they choose to do. I encourage them to maintain a healthy relationship with their step-family and have learned to hold my tongue when I see pictures of my children in the arms of others.

It is still not easy; I struggle every holiday with my emotions. There is always a part of me that hopes my children will choose to spend extra time with me. Whenever I do have sad or negative feelings, I go alone into a quiet room to let off steam and thereby protect my children’s emotional state. It is always helpful to create my own distraction so that I am not dwelling on something that is out of my control. These skills have helped me improve my relationships with my children and are making me emotionally stronger.

I hope that you are not faced with the situation I have described. Eventually all our children will grow up and be separated from us on some holidays to be with their new families. One way or another, we want our children to be confident in their decision making and grow to be emotionally healthy adults.

Please share any of your stories that may help our readers with their circumstances. It is always nice to know that we are not alone. Check back next week when I will be talking about children and counseling/therapy.

Some time ago, I visited a college friend. While we were chatting about the old days, her youngest daughter bounced into the room to get her “finger stick”. I observed what had become a common routine for them. After the band-aid was placed on her finger, she went back outside to play with her sister. Surprised at the maturity of this beautiful five year old , I asked multiple questions about what I had just witnessed. Diagnosed with diabetes when she was two, every day throughout the day, her blood-sugar levels are checked. Incredulous that this was now a normal part of their routine, my friend told me the long story of how their family has learned to cope with diabetes.

I had never really thought about the prevalence of diabetes among children before. Consequently, I did lots of research. I was surprised at what I discovered about Juvenile, Type 1 diabetes. – it tends to run in families and is NOT caused by obesity or eating excessive sugar. It is a disorder with high blood glucose levels due to a deficiency of insulin secretion in the pancreas. WHAT???

After a person eats, a portion of the food is broken down into sugar (glucose). The sugar then passes into the bloodstream and into the body’s cells via a hormone called insulin. Insulin is produced in the pancreas. With diabetes, the pancreas either produces too little insulin or none at all. The sugar then builds up in the blood, overflows into the urine and passes through the body. If the blood sugar is not controlled, major complications can occur affecting the heart, eyes, kidneys and nerves.

According to HealthScout, an estimated 17 million people in the U.S. have diabetes of which about 1.4 million have Type 1. There are support groups throughout the country for diabetics. My heart goes out to the children who must cope with this syndrome. Do any of you have issues or situations that you could share from your experience with diabetes? I may be adding my own stories some day. My father had diabetes that was diagnosed when he was in his 50’s. They say that it is hereditary so I am glad to know all the warning signs in advance.

Next week I will be talking about the challenges children face with holidays and travel and relatives.

I have had a fewI never had any direct experience with eating disorders. There was a period of time when I was away at college that I thought my sister might be anorexic and the family her situation very seriously. I also had a friend in college who admitted to being bulimic. Other than those two cases, the only eating disorders that I had experience with were overeating binges like most of my friends. We never thought it was a problem, probably because it wasn’t frequent but occasional isolated instances. But I digress.

Eating disorders fall into three categories: Anorexia, Bulimia and Binge Overeating. Anorexia is characterized by refusal to eat and extreme weight loss. Bulimia is also characterized by weight loss but is related to binge overeating that is later regurgitated or exercised away or eliminated with the use of laxatives and diet pills. Finally, the overeaters are those who don’t try to rid their bodies of the food but continue to feel depressed and shameful.

Some people don’t believe that eating disorders are that big of a problem. The complications of these disorders can be permanent and devastating. They can include:

Treatment can help 60% of the population. For some patients, as many as 20%, it is too late and there is no recovery. It is necessary for patients to receive nutritional counseling, psychiatric help and medical attention. For the best treatment, family counseling is also encouraged so that recovery has the most positive outcome.

One of my relatives in California approached me with the story of a girl who is being educated at home due to her eating disorders. She was not well enough to go to school. She was looking for resources that would help her with recovery. My Aunt showed her our stories and she actually asked for The Elijah Foundation to create something for her. I hope to include her story in the future. It will be very special.

Please send us your stories. I want to hear from you. Next week I will be discussing Diabetes.

ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - is similar to ADD but includes an hyperactivity component. It has become the most diagnosed and over-diagnosed disorder in the last 20 years. Children must exhibit symptoms for six continuous months before a diagnosis can be made and with onset usually in children under age seven. Many believe it to be the leading diagnosis when parents and teachers cannot cope with their children. Agreeing with this view, Dave Levine, who wrote the article: Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) is a Fake Disease, says that, “it was created by boring, out-of-touch leaders who are p****d off that kids aren’t listening to them”. He also says that “ADD is an excuse for poor leadership.”

Another report by Lawrence Diller, M.D., Schools Pressure Parents to Force Ritalin Use, states that there has been a 700 % increase in the use of Ritalin since 1990. Schools are saying that parents must medicate their children, or take their children to another school, or be turned into Child Protective Services for neglect for withholding necessary medication. The diagnosis of ADHD has jumped in the United States from 500,000 children in 1985 to over 7 million today, according to www.ADHD- report.com.

Why am I saying all of this? It seems that the more popular diagnoses nowadays like bipolar disorder and autism would have been diagnosed ADHD in the past. Misdiagnosis was common as doctors were easily swayed by labeling and then prescribing medication for children displaying symptoms similar to ADHD. This is not only an American phenomenon: ADHD is also the popular diagnostic choice in The United Kingdom and Australia. Consequently, their statistics have jumped considerably in the last 20 years.

Having worked in the child care industry in the past, I have met many children diagnosed with ADHD who have had their behavior modified by the use of Ritalin or Adderall. They don’t seem to be stigmatized by their diagnosis and speak openly about it. I believe it is usually accurately diagnosed but still one that brings great stress to parents; largely because of the controversies surrounding the medication prescribed - what parent wants to drug their child? However, the question still remains, “is it the right diagnosis for all of those children?” Parents need to educate themselves and their children. It is always smart to get a second or third opinion before medicating a child. I know that I had to do a lot of research when my child was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Parents must be the advocate for their child. Know your children!

If, in fact, your child does have ADHD, help them to understand the disorder. Give them books to read. Also, help to educate the caregivers in your child’s life about the disorder but also about your child’s individual circumstances. Be aware that sometimes difficult behaviors may have more to do with personality conflicts with teachers or situations than with ADHD. For example, some children cannot sit in a classroom for long periods. An active child may need an environment that reinforces hands-on learning. That is an option in certain schools. Explore avenues that will ensure the success of your child. Let’s not set our children up to fail; let’s find the resources and circumstances in which they can succeed and thrive! Every child is unique and must be treated as such.

Next week I will be discussing eating disorders. Please come back and visit. I welcome your input, suggestions, experiences and comments.

What if height is just not going to be one of your assets? One of the peers of my middle son has a significant growth disorder and must takes growth hormones daily. I often wonder what he thinks and if people say anything to him. My kids say that he is “cool” with it and he is popular and fun to be around, and that no one really cares because they know he will not get much taller. He is a phenomenal athlete and gymnast!!! I really enjoy watching him do flips off my diving board when he comes over to swim in the summer. When we still had a trampoline, he would give us a great show with all of his moves. I have never seen evidence of any poor self-esteem due to his height.

Did you know that childhood growth impairments were considered a disability under the Social Security Administration? They are said to be related to other medical conditions and therefore, eligible for disability programs. Growth impairments can be related to cerebral palsy, kidney damage, liver and heart disease among many other issues. In some cases, it has been noted that an organ transplant could reverse the growth issue (if that is the reason for the impairment).

So, as I mentioned in a previous blog, there are some great books for children who are just delayed in growth, but what will help the child who will NOT grow to the height of his/her peers? With other issues we have discussed, we should always be sensitive to that child. We can help the child accentuate their positives attributes, and we can find support resources for the child to give them the encouragement they may need to overcome their challenge. I think our biggest challenge is educating children’s peer groups to sensitize them and protect our children from any ridicule. Children can be so mean! Have any of you experienced challenges with growth related issues? If so, I would love your stories and input.

I do remember the one thing that made me feel a little better. My parents presented me with a t-shirt that had a smiley face on it and the smiley face had braces. The shirt said, “Tin Grins Are In”. I felt special and wore the shirt all of the time. I don’t remember ever seeing anything else that made me feel better.

Years later, although my son had braces twice and hated it both times, I don’t remember him being laughed at - times had changed. The second time, in particular, he was confident enough with his braces that he ran for “Mr. Sophomore” at his school and WON! His braces didn’t inhibit him from being a public figure in his school.

Now braces are so common that perhaps the stigma is gone. What do you think? I would love to hear from those of you who experienced braces. Are we still trying to help children cope with their dental dilemmas or is it a non-issue?

Check back next week when I will be discussing children that struggle with height and growth delays.

When I was young, it was rare to see a single-parent leading a family, or even two remarried parents uniting into a blended family. Now family life is different; I am different. Now most families are touched by divorce in one way or another. Let’s look at some statistics to give us an idea of how we have changed - according to research by Vital Statistics (2006), in the USA:

· Although 82% of all married couples reach their fifth wedding anniversary, only 52% celebrate 15 years of marriage

· The median duration of first marriages that end in divorce was slightly less than eight years

I am this statistic. I was divorced after 17 years of marriage – so is best friend, my next door neighbor (x2) and my sister (also x2). When I was young, I didn’t even believe in divorce. I do now! As we get closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas, I have noticed that the consequences of divorce are one of the main topics of conversation among my friends: I hear phrases like, “Where are your kids going for Christmas?” “When will they leave?” “My kids can’t go until after 12:00 noon on Christmas day.” “I wonder what they will buy my kids for Christmas.”

The children have become used to negotiating this brave new world – conscious that they might appear to slight one parent for another. And it is not just our country. In case you were wondering, divorce rates do vary substantially in different countries. Check out these world divorce statistics:

Although divorce is more readily accepted today, it is still a major issue in the lives of millions of American children. Consequently, it is a challenge to all adults to help them accept and resolve these issues - even schools, day care centers and athletic teams have to keep the custodial arrangements straight. The Elijah Foundation is trying to provide some help by developing a story that children can connect to. It is about a whale whose parents divorce. It is particularly stressful for the baby whale since whales are known to mate for life. The baby whale feels isolated and embarrassed around his friends, and sad and lonely without both parents. The story will help children understand that although their parents are not together, they still love the children. They will always have a relationship with both parents.

I could go on and on about divorce but I must stop now. Check back next week when I will be discussing dental issues.

places children with temporary guardians because their parents are either unavailable or incapable of caring for their children on their own.

So, who are the children waiting in the U.S. foster care system? According to www.kidsarewaiting.org and Federal AFCARS data:

· Average # of birthdays a child spends in foster care: 2 birthdays (28 months)

· Average time foster care children have been waiting to be adopted: 39.4 months

It must be very sad and confusing for a child to have to grow accustomed to new environments because they have no stable home or family. I know that I have seen many TV programs about children who get lost in the system. The statistics that I listed above make it much more “real” to me. It also reinforces to me that these children need resources to help them adjust to their situation. "Once they've been in multiple (homes), you can pretty much be assured they'll end up in a (mental health facility), either suicidal or with attachment disorder," says Linda Berny, a professional in the foster care field.

The Elijah Foundation will have a story to provide to foster children. We have interviewed foster care therapists and created a story that will touch the lives of these families, children and survivors. Please support us in our efforts to reach children in need.

I have seen so many advertisements on television and on billboards recently. Consequently, I thought I would do some research into the subject. Although now deemed an epidemic, It seems that autism varies in its functionality. According to the Centers for Disease Control, “one in every 150 American kids has some form of autism.” That was very alarming to me and I found that the definition and criteria for diagnosis have been expanded. There are simply more means to define autistism than in the past.

These behaviors can range from mild to disabling. Parents generally notice that something is wrong with their child when they don’t exhibit the normal developmental milestones of talking, smiling or making eye contact by 16 months. Sometimes they have met the milestones and then they instantly disappear. This must be the most frustrating experience of them all.

So, what causes autism and why are the numbers so high? It might have to do with the change in how they are diagnosed or labeling based on only a few symptoms. Autism has been blamed on maternal nutrition, obstetric and environmental factors, diet and even immunizations. Scientists have not agreed on a cause or even that it is related to any of the above theories.

How is it being treated? From what I have read, autism is treated in a variety of ways depending on the doctor, school, therapist or parent group that you are working with. The approach and treatment can include:

3. Stimulating the brain by having the child repeat behaviors over and over until they are routine again

Is there hope? According to my research, parents should not despair. The road ahead is filled with research, support and opportunities. Progress is being made. With the growing awareness in the community about autism, we should all feel more confident that help is on the horizon.

Next week I will be addressing the physical characteristics that some people find to be negative in themselves and how their self-esteem is affected by this.

Recently, The Elijah Foundation was given the opportunity to attend and exhibit our materials at the National DBSA (Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance) Conference in Norfolk, VA. We shared the prototype of both books, Eli, the Bipolar Bear and Elle, the Little Lost Wombat. It was a phenomenal experience and the overall support and encouragement that was received continues to drive us to fulfill our mission of providing books to children. The attendees provided us with feedback on our existing products and ideas for future products that are lacking in the market.

There were approximately 300 people in attendance at the conference and we were happy to hear from most of them. What seemed to inspire me the most was the emotional draw that the “Eli” book had on certain attendees. There were two individuals, in particular, who were brought to tears after reading the story. I was told by them that it was as if it was written about their own lives. It certainly “hit home” on their experiences with bipolar disorder. Others commented that the story would be perfectly suited for clients that they worked with since there was no other source to reach children. And others were very interested in purchasing our prototype so that they could leave with a tangible resource to take back home. (Sorry, but the prototypes are not for sale. L) One woman said that she had 2 grandchildren that were coping with the difficulties of bipolar disorder and she also thought our story would be beneficial in helping them understand what they were dealing with.

We were asked by many attendees about when we would have an Asthma book ready or if we would have a book on Depression coming out soon. To answer their questions, we are currently working on our Asthma story with hopes for its launch in 2009. A book on depression is not on the list for the next year but we will certainly add it to our upcoming topics.

We are hoping to continue the promotion of our books at other local conferences in our area. On October 17, CHKD (Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters), EVMS (Eastern Virginia Medical School department of Psychiatry) and The Barry Robinson Center are co-sponsoring a seminar, "Bipolar Disorder in Children and Adolescents", in Virginia Beach. We are also planning to attend the 13th Annual Chronic Illness Conference, "Health Issues Affecting our Children Today", on November 13th at the Chesapeake Conference Center. We had an exhibit at this conference last year as well.

I hope that you will follow along with our progress as we reach out into the community to share our stories at conferences and local events. If there is an event that you would like to have us attend or present, please let us know. We are always looking for opportunities to meet new people and share our books.

Next week I will be touching on the many forms of Autism.

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September 17, 2008 -Blood disorders

When I hear the term “blood disorder”, I think of leukemia. Recently, I have discovered that the same term can mean so much more. I have been meeting with families that are affected by numerous challenges that come under the umbrella of “blood disorder” or hematology. Just a few of these are:

ITP or Immune Thrombocytopenic Purpura or Idiopathic Thrombocytepenic Purpura. ITP is a bleeding disorder that is identified by having too few platelets. In those with ITP, the immune system destroys platelets for unknown reasons.
Spherocytosis is an inherited disorder of the red blood cells. The disease is characterized by abnormal red blood cell membrane proteins which cause the cell to assume a spherical shape rather than the usual "doughnut with a filled in center" shape.
Sickle Cell Anemia is a serious disease in which the body makes sickle-shaped red blood cells. “Sickle-shaped” means that the red blood cells are shaped like a "C."
Leukemia is a malignant disease (cancer) of the bone marrow and blood. It is characterized by the uncontrolled accumulation of blood cells.

Listed below are some other issues that fall into this category of blood disorders - I am sure there are many others not on this list.

So, why did I choose to share this in my blog today? I am glad you asked! I think that we take so much for granted with our health. I think about all the children that are challenged with serious conditions like blood disorders. I am glad to say that The Elijah Foundation is making specific efforts to develop storybooks to help children with blood disorders. Already, we have drafts of stories for children with ITP, Spherocytosis, and Sickle Cell Anemia and we are working on Leukemia. Please help support our efforts to get these books into the hands of children that need them.

Check back next week when I will be talking about the exciting conference on bipolar disorder that I attended last week and the upcoming conferences in the next couple of months. Are there events in your town that you would like us to be part of? Write back and let me know so that I can add you to my schedule.

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September 10, 2008 -Being a lefty!

When I started developing this idea about books for children with disabilities, disorders and differences, my godson asked me if I was going to write a book on left-handed children. At first, I thought he was joking but then, with a smile on my face, I asked him why he felt that being left-handed was unique enough to have a story written about it. He soon put me in my place! He came over to my house with a list of 35 items that made him unique based on his handedness. I was blown away at the number of things that I took for granted by being a right handed person. He was a “lefty” living in a “righty” world.

Then I started talking to other left-handed friends about their challenges growing up - was it really such a “big deal” to be left-handed? For most it was! They added to my godson’s list of difficulties. A few of the items that didn’t occur to me were:

· can openers

· stick-shifts in a car

· computer mouse

· ink on your hand when you write a paper

· turning a paper around so that it is easier to write

· positions you are allowed to play on a baseball team

· scissors – cutting

· writing in a 3-ring binder

· left-handed equipment is more expensive as a specialty tool

· directions to accomplish tasks manually are geared to the right handed person

At this point, I was sold on the idea and the story for the “Left-Clawed Lobster” created by one of my writers. Because I am not left-handed, I didn’t appreciate the needs and challenges of the left-handed community. I take a lot for granted, but due to the persistence of a special child in my life, I now know better and hope to pass that information along to other children and adults through our storybook.

Check back next week when I will be talking about some blood platelet disorders.

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September 03, 2008 -Military families

Living in Norfolk, Virginia, I am used to the comings and goings of military personnel. Norfolk has the largest naval base in the world and so the military and their families surround us. They are at the airport and on the news and in the stores. I was also raised in a home with a father in the navy and we had to get used to him leaving for 6-9 months at a time on tours of duty. The first time my father saw my twin and me we were eight months old! Fortunately, my father was deployed during times of peace. So, although it was always difficult to see him leave, we weren’t scared for his safety.

Now that tours of duty have been extended and our military are directly faced with war and combat, stress levels for all the family have increased exponentially. It isn’t just the absence of the parent, but the threat that he/she may not return. That anxiety directly impacts children and families. Just imagine how those children feel when they watch the TV and see yet another soldier killed on deployment. When military parents say goodbye to their children at home or on the base before a deployment, the children do wonder if that will be the last time they will see their parent.

What can we do for the families and children to ease the burden they face when parents deploy? Moreover, what happens when a parent is injured or killed while serving their country? Are we ready to embrace that child and that family when their worst fear has become reality? E-mail technology has eased some of the communication stress but more resources are needed. The Elijah Foundation is working closely with military psychologists to develop a series of books for these families. We are very excited about how we will be impacting and helping so many lives.

Check back next week when I will be talking about the challenges of being left-handed in a right-handed world.

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August 27, 2008 -Not whining but a little pining

For those of you who have followed my saga for the last 2 weeks, I thank you. This past weekend I sent my son to college thereby permanently changing my household dynamic and causing me to run a roller coaster of emotions in the process. To my utmost relief, it was an exceptionally good experience. The college was masterful at organizing and orienting the students and their families. After orientation, the students were immediately integrated into their freshman class with a Habitat for Humanity project. He has met numerous people and is now involved before he had a chance to adjust. I feel that my son is in a great place and I am now secure that they care about him as a person and not just as another number. What a relief to feel this sense of ease when I was ready to panic and break down! As I left on Sunday I knew that my son was happy and has already met lots of great people – he thinks he is living on the best floor of the best residence hall on campus! I left very sad knowing that I will miss him daily, but also very proud of the man that I raised. He is outstanding and will be successful. Now, I will adjust and move on with a smile.

Check back next week when I will be discussing the military family and their courageous adjustments when parents, spouses and children go off to war.

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August 20, 2008 -Whining and pining - part two

Does anyone know of a book or story that describes the process of a child leaving home? If not, it should be written! It would really help me work through my feelings. On the one hand, my son is old enough to be an adult; but on the other hand, he is still my child and needs to be nurtured and cared for.

This past week has revealed emotions that I did not know I had. I have been willing to encourage him by pushing him out of the nest and yet sad and wanting him to stay. I am exhausted by experiencing so many feelings in such a short period. The long and short of it is that I must learn to live with it. I know that he will become the man that I hope for, but I also know that his development will challenge him and me.

We leave in 2 days…. next week will probably surprise us all.

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August 13, 2008 -Whining and pining

There comes a point in every parent’s life when their child leaves home for the first time. That time has come for me. In June, two of my children graduated from high school. Fortunately, my daughter will be staying at home with plans to join the Coast Guard eventually. However, my son will be heading off to college in 10 days. I feel like it was just yesterday that “I” was in college. Recently, I have been writing to my college alums to reminisce about our years at college. Now I realize that wasn’t such a good idea! It has compounded the pining process that has already begun for my son.

Why am I so distressed? Maybe, because I am still asking so many of the normal questions that parents ask: Will he make friends? Will he succeed in school? What if he needs me and I am not there? Others relate to how I will cope with the situation, especially when he will look at me with his sad eyes as I drive away from his campus? I know that he has to leave home, grow in independence and get his education but I will miss him tremendously. My consolation is the cell phone and e-mail. At least I will have regular contact with him. Hmmm… how did OUR parents survive without the technology that I rely on daily?

So now, as I count down our days, I am overwhelmed with emotion. I am excited about his new adventure. I am anxious about the challenges that he will encounter, and I am proud of the man he will become.

Next week will be a challenge for me. Check back for “the rest of the story”.

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August 06, 2008 -Asthma

What do we really know about Asthma? According to the American Lung Association, Asthma is an inflammatory condition of the bronchial airways. This inflammation causes the normal function of the airways to become excessive and over-reactive, thus producing increased mucus, mucosal swelling and muscle contraction. These changes produce airway obstruction, chest tightness, coughing and wheezing. If severe this can cause severe shortness of breath and low blood oxygen. Each individual suffers a different level of severity. Virtually all children with asthma, however, do enjoy a reversal of symptoms until something triggers the next episode.

Are educators informed about this illness enough to help the children in their classrooms? Asthma has not directly impacted my life, but is a serious concern for many worldwide with epidemic proportions in so many of our cities. I wanted to share some alarming statistics today about Asthma in hopes that The Elijah Foundation would be able to be part of the solution in the future.

Asthma is the number one reason why children are absent from school.
According to the NCHS (National Center for Health Statistics), the number of children who currently have asthma is 6.8 million nationally or 9.4%.
According to the AAAAI, (The American Academy of Allergy Asthma and Immunology), Every day in America:

o 40,000 people miss school or work

o 30,000 people have an asthma attack

o 5,000 people visit the emergency room

o 1,000 people are admitted to the hospital

o 11 people die due to asthma

When I first read these statistics, I was shocked. I had always known children in school that suffered with Asthma but I didn’t know anything about the prevalence or seriousness of the condition. Did you know that there are certain things that can “trigger” an asthma attack? I have listed a few here:

Allergies to pollens, mold, pets, and other things in your environment
Air pollution such as tobacco smoke, high ozone levels, and traffic fumes
Emotions, including fear, crying, and laughing
Exercise, especially when it leads to overexertion or in cold weather
Household irritants, including dust, cleaning products, and perfume
Illnesses such as a cold or respiratory infection
Medications, including some over-the-counter pain relievers
Weather, particularly wind and cold air

The Elijah Foundation is working on a children’s story on this particular topic called, “Wheezy, the Asthmatic Zebra”. We are excited about its impact on children with asthma and feel certain that it will be a valued resource in their search for understanding and support.

Check back next week when I will be whining and pining about my eldest son’s departure for college in 2 weeks.

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July 30, 2008 -Test anxiety

My children grew up in an area where most children went to the same school, played the same sports, attended the same church, etc. Needless to say, we spent a great deal of time together and had each other for support, car pooling, studying or whatever was needed. It was comforting to be a part of a close-knit community.

When I first started exploring resources to help my son with bipolar disorder, it didn't surprise me that others in my network were also looking for similar resources for their children. One friend, in particular, was struggling to help her son who was having real difficulty in school. Outside of school he was social and athletic and seemed to fit in with all of his friends. She was looking for something that would help explain why he wasn't as successful in the academic arena. We noticed that he was “sick” more often than most children. His stomach hurt, he was nauseous, he was dizzy, and he was exhausted and would break out in a sweat. He spent a lot of time at home. After a while, it became evident that these illnesses revolved around days when there were tests at school. Once the source of the problem - test anxiety - was identified, then we could all pool together and help where we were able.

My friend was frustrated and wanted to help her son. What he was feeling was valid and a real concern. She did not want him to “skip out” of his school responsibilities. She needed resources. She asked if I could write a story similar to what I had done for my son, Eli. We knew that test anxiety was the cause of his poor academic performance but we didn’t know how to relay that to him. I spoke with his counselors and teachers and researched the topic. Finally, I was able to put together a storybook that he could relate to and identify with. The teachers were more sensitive to his anxiety and worked with him to achieve academic success. He has graduated from high school and is now attending a university. He still struggles with test anxiety but is now putting some of his acquired techniques to work and has overcome some of the symptoms that kept him from succeeding.

Sometimes we find ourselves criticizing a child instead of trying to help a child. The Elijah Foundation wants to lend a hand in getting resources into the hands of these children. Check back next week when I will be addressing Asthma and the challenges that children face in coping with it.

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July 23, 2008 -What happens when grandparents move

My children spent a majority of their childhood playing at their grandparents’ house in New York. They had their own play room in a finished basement, plenty of toys and a big field to play in when they were outside. We spent a lot of time at this house and they considered it to be theirs. It was a place where they could relax and “come and go” as they pleased. The children’s grandparents would travel to Florida for the winter and spend the summer in New York. We stayed in their home in New York when we would visit, whether they were there or not.

A few years ago they decided to sell their home in New York and retire closer to their grandchildren in Virginia. The maintenance of the large house and their advanced age made it difficult to keep. This decision impacted the whole family and left the children wondering what was going to happen next. It was going to be strange to go to New York and not stay at their familiar home. It was also going to be different to visit their grandparents in an Assisted Living Community. My children didn’t think they would feel comfortable being around so many “old” people. As a family, we toured many places and placed their names on the waiting list for a community that we felt the most comfortable with and where the children felt the most “welcome”. It was ultimately a decision that the whole family made.

The new community embraced family members and invited us in for meals and social events. We could visit whenever we wanted. This environment worked well with the numerous activities that were made available and the many friendships that were made. The community provided us all with an easy transition. The change of life that I thought would be traumatic on the family turned into a situation that pulled the family together and taught us all that there was more to life than what we had grown comfortable with.

A story is currently being developed to help children come to terms with the change in their families living situations when the grandparents transition into Senior Living. This trend is growing and can be distressing for the youth who don’t understand. We hope that our story will help explain this in terms they are comfortable with.

Check back next week when I will be discussing test anxiety.

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July 16, 2008 -Bipolar teenager

Bipolar Disorder is a tricky issue. The effects of it can alter many lives, not just the person with the diagnosis. It is safe to say that a balance must be maintained between medication and therapy for a stable house to exist. The problem, of course, is that people with bipolar disorder do not think there is a problem and therefore do not believe that medication or therapy is doing anything. One other factor to throw in to the mix is dealing with the normal challenges of teenage life.

My child was diagnosed and he was taking his medication, sometimes with no question and other times with a struggle. It was so nice to be around him when he was following the recommended protocol. He is a very bright and beautiful child. As the teenage years set in, hormones changed the way the medication worked and clearly the dosage amounts needed to be altered. When this happened it was like starting the process over again. Trying to reach the perfect chemical combination was challenging and frustrating. Teenagers also think that everything is stupid and that adults are idiots, so throw that attitude into the mix and you have my child.

The result of these many issues catapulted my house into complete upheaval. All the family members became stressed and tense and my home became the battleground. I was fighting to help my bipolar child but also to try to keep the other children mentally stable in this hostile home. Sometimes the fight is successful, other times…not so much. I do not have all the answers but seek the advice of the other professionals out there…parents with a bipolar child!

Next week I will be discussing the topic of an upcoming story that addresses children learning about retirement communities and how the family dynamic changes when an elder moves away.

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July 09, 2008 -Internationally adopted children and their teachers

When it comes to international adoption, the adoptive parent must be ready to face challenges that they never anticipated. I, for one, found that I needed to educate the people who interacted with my daughter. Let me focus on the teachers in the school.

My daughter had been an orphan for 15 years and lived in a very bad orphanage for over 8 of those years. She had a street-toughness that could be scary if you pushed her the wrong way. She had to have this “survival” mentality over there, and that was understandable. Unfortunately, those instincts did not get turned off when she was brought to the US. I met with the teachers in her school to give them an overview of what to expect from her and a general idea of her background. I don’t know if they didn’t listen or if they weren’t prepared for a “real-life” orphan. She would walk out of the classroom when she felt like it, fight when she felt threatened and refuse to do class work because it was never expected of her in the past. I communicated daily with the teachers and talked through all of their complaints about my child. They didn’t care that she was learning a whole new language, living in a new culture with a new family or that she did not have all the US history in her head. The teachers took for granted that she experienced life the same as the other students. After almost 4 years of the same school, I thought we were “there”. Needless to say, teachers still were not on the same page with me.

One experience that I thought was interesting occurred when my daughter came home very upset form school. It was her senior year. She had gotten a “0” on a writing assignment in history class. I wanted to know what had happened and why she didn’t do the assignment. She said that she did not understand what the teacher was asking and the teacher wouldn’t explain it to her when she asked. The teacher seemed to indicate that my daughter was “messing around” by not completing the assignment. I immediately made an appointment with the teacher and asked her what the assignment was about. She said that the class was asked to write a paper on the September 11^th attack and describe what they were doing when the news was announced. My child wasn’t in the United States for the terrorist attack and she didn’t even know it happened. There was no communication in her orphanage, especially on foreign matters. The teacher did not believe that she didn’t know what it was and gave her a failing mark. After explaining…yet again… to the teacher about my child’s past and how long she had been in the US, I asked her to tell me what she was doing during the Chernobyl Explosion, to which she responded…”I am exempting her from this assignment and will be more sensitive in the future. It was not fair to assume that everyone knew about the bombing.”

Does anyone else have to deal with these issues?

Check back next week when I will talk about the bipolar child who stops taking their medicine.

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July 02, 2008 -International students and the public school

When I adopted my daughter from Ukraine, she was 15 years old. I enrolled her in the public high school after 4 months of adjustment to the states. I was assured that the ESL (English as a Second Language) program would aid her in her school work. I knew the law and that accommodation had to be made for her until she was considered fluent. She had virtually no comprehension in oral or written English. I was happy that the school system mandated that she have a double block of ESL at the start of each day. Teachers would give her oral assignments and, with the help of Russian speaking teachers, she gradually picked up on the skills necessary to succeed, or should I say “squeak by”. I grew frustrated with the system after she was not given a 504 plan. This is a federally mandated program that supports a child who is not fluent in English. I also noticed that she was being held to the same standard as other students when it came to the year-end SOL (Standards of Learning) tests. Needless to say, she did not pass her tests and accommodations were not made for her. I battled and advocated for her rights all 4 years of her high school career. When she graduated, I was relieved that the battle was over.

What experiences have you had with your internationally adopted child and the school transition? Are there any helpful hints that we can pass along to other parents who may be experiencing the frustration that my family went through? I would love to hear your stories, successes and challenges in adoption.

Next week I will be discussing the challenges of working with teachers who do not understand your child. Please check back weekly for new entries.

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January 29, 2008 -Celiac Disease

Symptoms of CD vary from person to person. Symptoms may occur in the digestive system or in other parts of the body. Digestive symptoms are more common in infants and young children and may include:

· Abdominal bloating and pain

· Chronic diarrhea

· Vomiting

· Constipation

· Pale, foul-smelling, or fatty stool

· Weight loss

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